its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Randomize
