ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
