Passed out watching pirates of caribbean with vodka in hand. Woke up to jenna jameson, with vodka gone.
sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
Randomize
