They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
Randomize
