Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
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