At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
Randomize
