You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
Randomize
