i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
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