but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
Randomize
