Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
Randomize
