Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
Randomize
