I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
Randomize
