she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
Randomize
