you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
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