A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
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