STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
