Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
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