After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
You're breaking my sexual little heart
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Randomize
