thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Randomize
