He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
Randomize
