i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
