My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
Randomize
