You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
She kept calling me her DD, which I assumed meant designated driver, so I was confused because I don't even have a car. Found out later it means designated dick. It's what her and her friends use as code for the guy they want to hook up with at the end of the night. I feel so used.
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Randomize
