I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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