apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
Randomize
