You're a womanizer and a bitch.
I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize
