Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
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