No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
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