He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
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