Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
Randomize
