He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
I just got a text giving me an hour window for when my vibrator is gonna be delivered. If that's not awesome customer service, I don't know what is.
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
Randomize
