apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
Just sold all of my pants in order to buy tonight's whiskey. Goodbye, high functioning alcoholism. Hello, Dad.
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
Randomize
