So I went on a date with this girl...and whos our waitress? My girlfriend got a second job she didn't tell me about to afford my bday present.
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
Randomize
