my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
Randomize
