hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
Top reasons to NOT leave jessica to her own devices : 1. Drinking becomes a competitive sport ( in which she is the only one competing) 2.big girl words= no worky 3. Whiskey refuses to be a good friend (as much as she insists ). 4. Waking up at six a.m. still in her swim suit is super awkward. 5. It isn't a fun game to figure out which person she gave her number to and 6. Yesterdays eyeliner doesn't look good today.
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
