READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
My most recent midlife crisis involved eating a doughnut in 30 seconds but taking 5 minutes to do half a shot of whiskey, then deciding I wasn't going to finish it.
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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