dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
She needs sedatives and a leash
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
A+ Viking dick
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
Randomize
