watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
Randomize
