Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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