How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
i just woke up with two martini umbrellas taped to my nipples... idk how they got there
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
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