ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
There's a dead frog in my kitchen?
Yeah, you found him outside and decided to give him a bath with your roommates electric toothbrush.
The worst part is that you sang Air Supply songs to him as you did it. Poor guy died in the middle of "Making love out of nothing at all"
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
Randomize
