Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
I love you.
Bad choice
Randomize
