i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
When are your genitals available?
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
