Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Randomize
