You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
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