i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
Randomize
