I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
Randomize
