So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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