So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
Randomize
