I'm dying. Please wear something slutty to my funeral.
in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
Randomize
