I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
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