I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
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